http://chibi-cas.tumblr.com/post/83164412909

breelandwalker:

asksecularwitch:

jokesmymomwouldlike:

are you ever just like “lol white people” but then you’re like “wait i am a white people”

I yell it at the A haunting show whenever it’s white people. I have questioned my state of mind in doing so. Multiple times.

tardis-mind-palace:

ineffablyserpentine:

my english teacher used to collect street signs until her students began to steal them for her

like they stole a street sign 

that said the street name

they also stole a stop sign in front of this loop in front of my school

and all 100 kids were like stealing signs

my english teacher was the head of a crime ring

I bet the principal didn’t want to believe it…

even though all the signs were there

lamebert:

caterpillars have more muscles than humans but i’d like to see one try to fight me irl and see what happens

judge: why did you kill that man
me: it's a metaphor
judge: oh....ok lol

lambhoof:

feester:

lambhoof:

My favorite band is this little group of newts I found under a log in the woods who play tiny trumpets made from hollow reeds and twigs

Oh yea I bet you can’t name 5 of their songs

1. Doot Toot
2. tiny fern
3. do NOT eat mushrooms you just find in the woods
4. broken heart broken trumpet
5. George Costanza is my hero

bespectacledbisexual:

i like that we say “oh, man” to express disappointment

because men are disappointing

kardashy:

my friends grandma got her something from hollister as a gift but apparently she didnt like the shirtless guy on the bag so she sewed a shirt on it

image

jpgay:

even the straight boys on tumblr are gay

hi:

food will last approximately 6.4 seconds in front of me the second it’s put down, i ain’t got no time to instagram any of that

molebucks:

lovely-dna:

molebucks:

treat me like a college textbook. spend lots of money on me but never touch or look at me

no. treat me like your favorite book. keep me by your side, touch my every page, learn all my twists and turns, remember every word I say, even the ones that make you cry

*4-second-long fart noise*